Depress your toddler

Everyone will probably read this as: do not depress your Tin Tin haired toddler with a showing of the Lion King.  They will not understand it and they will hate you later, when you will ask them about college choices. They will stare back at you blankly and inform you that they actually would prefer cosmetology / massage school! You should have paid more attention to toy warnings earlier.

Do not depress your toddler

…for the love of God, do not let him become some John Travolta wannabe, with a novelty belt holding up his packed diaper, sprawled all over the bike rack, half drunk and trying to pick up on some toddler chick! This is obviously pretty bad, so, in conclusion, buckle up your child when shopping at Target.

(By the way, this is obviously way too long to fit on the sign, but this is one of the many things that could happen!)

Wayward toddlers