September 01, 2005

Looting. Free TVs for all.

As I am watching TV tonight, seeing the total devastation of the gulf coast states and cities, there is something that is just painfully obvious.

When it comes to looting some people are just plain dumb. Some basic things to consider. When looting, do not go for the TV you dumbass. THE ELECTRICITY'S OUT! It's big, unwieldy and does not free up the hands to fight the other fool trying to wrestle it away from you. You are an idiot! In times like these you need portable wealth rather than a TV. Also, carjackings. Where will you drive it? The flooded area to the left? Right? Front? Or back perhaps? You sir, are an idiot. This is of course, saying nothing about the fact that your city's falling apart around you, there are people dying all around and you are concerned about watching American Idol on a slightly banged up Toshiba, sporting some mildewy Nikes. You can tune in on just about any channel to see these specimens. Not talking about the people taking water, food, of course.

Also, when looting, consider your choice in apparel. Wearing a teeshirt that says "Vote or Die" makes you look like a complete jackass. A jackass concerned about voting and democracy none the less. If there is such a thing as Karma, these people will get theirs. We should all be so lucky if there is a special circle of hell that these people can spend eternity in. Some kind of arrangement where they could spend 24h/day assembling this crap in a dirty underground sweatshop in Indonesia, while beaten by a morose foreman/pimp.