Do not depress your toddler

Depress your toddler

Everyone will probably read this as: do not depress your Tin Tin haired toddler with a showing of the Lion King.  They will not understand it and they will hate you later, when you will ask them about college choices. They will stare back at you blankly and inform you that they actually would prefer cosmetology / massage school! You should have paid more attention to toy warnings earlier.

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Mission statement

Whenever you see an icon / pictogram out there, you know (maybe) that someone designed it. Getting in the designer’s head to figure out a reason why they did what they did to get across the message can, at times be fun. It’s never pleasant stuff. It nearly always deals with some kind of pain, danger, or just plain: “DON’T DO IT, OR ELSE!” advice.

The site contents will split pretty evenly between images and random bitching about a wide array of subjects.
At the moment it is image heavy. Maybe later I will even the score.

What’s this all about?

Cell phone Tai Chi

You have a miso soup bowl in your hand and your opponent has a cell phone. Now fight!!!! Actually don’t do that here.

Cell phone Tai Chi

Pedestrian Bonk 2

And now, part 2 of the pedestrian bonk. Unlike the pedestrian with thunderbolt hair, this is where a misshapen head can get you in trouble. Beware all of you oddly shaped headed people, this means you are not welcome here.

Bonk, part deux

Pedestrian bonk, part un

This is where barrier meets head. With tragic consequences. Thunderbolts shooting out of your head. This raises a point, does the barrier hit cause the thunderbolt hairstyle, or does the thunderbolt hair cause the hit?

Thunderbolt hair + pedestrian bonk

Roller Dance

For all of you uncoordinated people that are into logging sports. This is obviously not how you do it. Learn to do it right and come back.

Logging sports

Shovelling

Beware when starting vertical landscaping projects. Your shoveling may cause landslides. Proceed with care or not at all.

Vertical landscaping

sad whale

Hang out by the shore long enough and you might just see the mythical sad whale of Oregon.
Act surprised.

Sad Whale

Back hedgehog

Lifting  a box while having a ninja use your back for a throwing star target seems like a bad idea. And this sign is pointing out just that. However, using your knees will do the trick!

Box lifting while attacked by ninjas

The best care you can buy!

Yes. it’s the ultimate in irony. A parking lot letting you know they “care”. How great is this? Makes your soul cringe, doesn’t it? As long as you remove all belongings and do not hold the lot owner responsible for anything that might happen to your car, including, but not limited to, lightning strikes and hobos pissing on it. Care = Visa / MC.

The lot that “cares”

Carpat Style

Yes friends, say hello to cat scratch. Carpat style. Being intimately familiar with the Carpathian mountains I have to say, my curiosity was peaked. Why do cats like to scratch “Carpat style”? Is there more that meets the eye in the random scraggly Carpathian mountain feral cat? I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that it makes less waste. And that is all that matters.

Carpat style!

Frog

Just in case you were wondering of the spelling of frog in Japanese. Here it is.

Frog

Fruit = Health

Think about this message when you look at some well shined apple on a fruit stand. Is it sufficient on the body?

Fruit = Health

Happy Hard Core

Yes, Rock Kids, happy hard core to all! Never mind the completely conflicting message of rebellion experssed on a happy journal notebook. One can not help but wonder why the urge to happily hard core is printed on a girly journal! What does this say?

Happy Hard Core

Puke Bag

The Japanese dollar store is always an adventure. Hours of fun guaranteed when checking packaging up close. Like this here piece of automotive safety. I can only assume this is a “sick” bag. And  judging by the look of both driver and passenger, one bag might just not be enough.

Puke Bag

Ricochet Theatre

I got a new lawnmower the other day. The amount of warnings on this thing was truly impressive. It pretty much amounted to an ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic cartouche display alerting of mysterious dangers and ancient curses. This curse in particular stood out. When mowing your lawn and of course, break dancing, or saying a quick hello to the over the fence neighbor, beware of ankle, hip and elbow attacks.

Ricochet Theatre

Algae chasing you?

OMG! Do not open that door! For the love of God and for the glory of our country, do not even think about it. There’s some kind of really mean plant life-form  in there that is guaranteed to attack you if you as much as crack the door. You’ll be forced to retreat at full speed and run into this tiny, no exit room where there is a good chance you’ll be devoured. Don’t do it.

Algae chasing you?